Category Archives: Whatever

The Joys of Fatherhood

This week I had the privilege of attending my first birthing class.  My wife and I are expecting our first and she’s far enough along to start going through these classes.  Now don’t be mistaken all you bachelors and folks of previous generations out there.  Lamaze is no longer part of the lexicon for giving birth these days.  I think women in general have pretty much accepted modern medicine as a whole and rare is the one who chooses a natural birth.

We walked in to the OB/GYN office and met our nurse.  After reading My Boys Can Swim by Ian Davis, I took his advice to get on her good side.  She was the nurse you hope to get, street smart and in love with her job.  She answered a few questions and then we watched the movie.

You know exactly what movie I’m referring to.

It’s the movie that unabashedly shows the birth of a baby with no censorship whatsoever.

This cinematic gem centered around 4 families that all elected a natural birth, and realistically, I could care less if you choose to have a child naturally.  But one thing stuck out like a sore thumb.  They were all hippies.  Now I’ve caught moments from these videos before, all different, but they all had hippies.

So the question remains, how did hippies corner the market on birthing videos?  Usually when hippies attempt any entrepreneurial venture, it ends in horrible failure with pleas for government subsidies.  Let’s be honest, if green energy was really viable it would be in every home.  But I have to give credit where credit is due and acknowledge the hippies scored a point in the child birthing video market.

Touche` stinky.


More Debate Shenanigans

It’s been too long since I’ve posted.  I was in the middle of moving (hopefully my last) and I thought the next post would be about owning my first home.  Unfortunately, I haven’t had any mind altering thoughts on the matter.  Now I’m sitting in my new home with the wife and turned on the “CNN National Security Debate.”

It’s 8:42 now and Wolf Blitzer isn’t doing a bad job as the moderator…he isn’t doing a good one either.  Mitt Romney just effectively shut him up after he asked for the twelfth time for one of the candidates to acquiesce on immigration amnesty.  But about an hour ago I had a shocking reality check.

Why is CNN labeling this debate the “National Security” debate?  Two reasons: Ron Paul and Herman Cain.  These guys have shown unmistakable popularity amongs Americans who have been polled.  However, Ron Paul’s international policies aren’t exactly popular and Herman Cain flubbed a national policy question recently.

My guess (because I have no evidence whatsoever) is that the kingmakers at CNN are trying to get a two for one deal here.  First, it’s no secret that the debates are great for ratings.  Americans have been viewing in droves to learn about the next president (because it ain’t gonna be Obama).  If you doubt this, then check your TV guide and you’ll find this was scheduled during O’Reilly who continues to whoop CNN tail when it comes to viewership.  In the end, I guess the network’s love for Obama ends when the dollars run out.

Second, by focusing on National Security CNN is effectively exposing the Achilles heel of the two men that the CNN kingmakers hope to expunge from serious competition.  Ron Paul has often been described as an isolationist.  Check out his website if you want more info.  Aside from brushing off the over-inflated sexual misconduct scandal, Herman Cain doesn’t appear to have the experience that the rest of the candidates do.  Unfortunately for CNN, Herman Cain pulled off what any person of intelligence could accomplish…he brushed up on current world events and gave a lot of good answers.

My fellow Americans, you don’t have to pick between Romney and Perry.  Hell, I wouldn’t mind at all if you started a Kinky Friedman write in campaign.  Just know that if the news networks are cramming something down your throat, you’re not obliged to swallow it.

Test of Character

I’m anxious to see what the response from the White House will be once these idiot bandits are collared.  Read here

I’m not sure what’s more fitting: that burglars stole directly from the president or that their heist included his precious teleprompters.  And yes, I did mean “a response from the White House” in the above statement because there’s no way Barry could utter a sentence without his manicured speech scrolling before his eyes. 

Regardless, my money is on the president blaming society, not the perpetrators, for this crime.  In the end he’ll most likely pin a medal on the thieves and blame the nearest A) Tea Party-er, B) Fortune 500 CEO, or C) Republican Presidential hopeful.

My FEMA Plan

Ready for this one?  It’s a real brain buster, trust me.  If anyone saw the footage of FEMA response to Katrina or even this year’s disaster relief efforts for various floods and storms, you can see it’s little more than non-existent.  So why have them to begin with?  Also, if you’re a Texan, you know how infuriating it can be to watch the president dangle disaster relief as a political tool when half your state is on fire. 

The federal government should disband FEMA.  Each job detailed to staff for the Director on up should be wiped out.  Their budget this year was around $6.5 million (12% of the budget for Department of Homeland Security).  As a federal employee myself, I can tell you from experience that $6.5 million doesn’t stretch too far.  Especially after you consider payrolls and I’m guessing the Director is making somewhere in the six figure range.  So let’s be conservative and say we’ll save around $500K if we eliminated the director’s job along with his staff (I’ll leave out the associated costs of their healthcare).  And we arrive at a comfy $7 million all around.

Now let’s take this $7 million and roll that back to the coffers (a drop in the bucket really) for nationally proclaimed disaster relief paid to the states.  The next part will take some trickery on part of the congress, but they should also be granted the power via a constitutional amendment, to declare a natural disaster.  The states should then provide their own version of FEMA (many already do), but now don’t have to await the *ahem* objectivity of the President to declare disaster relief.

What are your thoughts?

Someone Welcome the LA Times to the Party

I’m not certain if I’ve read any of Andrew Malcolm’s stuff before (I don’t care enough at this point to do the research), but he got this one right.

True, it is a blog.  But the fact he is writing it for a publication which is typical of the Mainstream Media is groundbreaking.  Would anyone in 2008 from the MSM have dared to put in to circulation any gaffes or fumbles by BHO?  What about from a newspaper entrenched in Hollywood’s leftist stronghold?

I’m guessing the president’s new car smell finally worn off and the world can view him objectively. 

Still though, the LA Times is only a few years late on doing their job.  Better late than never I guess.

Someone Remind Al Gore He’s No Longer Relevent

So Nobel Prize winner and ex-almost president Al Gore had a hissy fit because he just caught on to the fact no one gives a crap about him the environment.

WARNING: Foul language and trite diatribes ahead.  Wah.

Please note he uses the hippie playbook to the T.  First he feigns indignation at the mere possibility that he’s wrong.  The he goes on to attack scientists and anyone else who objects to his tripe with repetition of the word “Bull sh!t” (a real brain buster by the way).  He follows up with the lie that some one who pulls in a hefty salary (by doing what, exactly?) is some how a victim, or worse they are a minority group facing discrimination.  This of course leads up to his conclusion that only an elite few care and can “fix” this world. 

Only hippies and hollywood idiots consider “supporting causes” as a fashionable thing.  Think back and remember the last time you saw some box-office knucklehead pushing PETA or free iPods for the homeless.  The problem with Gore is that he’s seeing too many dollar signs to let go of this one and start a movement collecting whale poop for displaced sea lions.  Hey Al, do us all a favor and fade in to the history books…the ones no one will bother reading.

Dr. Phil called.  He wants his phony Southern accent back.

Nothing To Say? UPDATE.

For the first time, the president is somewhat silent.  His Saturday address was taped and he ducked out to Camp David with his tail between his legs. 

Read here.

I guess it’s hard for him to speak when he’s still trying to figure out the political winds.  His people went for the obvious and blamed the Tea Party.  It must be hard to develop pre-fabricated sound bites when you don’t stand for anything…well, anything but re-election.


Now read here.

If it seems like Axelrod and Kerry sound alike, it’s because they share the same brain.  I’m betting the reason their heads are so funny lookin’ is to accommodate a flip top lid in order to ease the exchange process.